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| I have decided to change my blog. Visit me at www.alexisling.blogspot.com
Don't think I will delete my xanga ones. Holds too much memories for me. | | |
| I haven’t blogged in a while.
I guess I didn’t have the time to sit down and pen/type down my thoughts for a long time.
Thank God for this moment where I can be by myself…listening to soothing music and just reflecting.
I enjoy the peace I am feeling right now.
Work has allowed me to see people from different walks of life. And sometimes it really takes all the love I have in my heart (and sometimes that isn’t enough) to want to help them. All I can do is to do my very best to give them a fair chance at things. One thing I really thank God for is that I never possessed any expectations of them thanking me or appreciating the effort I have put in to make their lives a little better. If not, I would have been greatly demoralized.
A lady I came across when we were giving out food aids said that social work is a vocation. I didn’t really agree with what she was implying. I don’t think that social workers are better or nicer people than others. I believe that we are all blessed with our individual gifts and talents. We are meant to excel in different things and “do good” with whatever talents we possess. As long as we always aspire to be like Jesus wherever we are and doing our best with whatever we have, we are glorifying Him in our ways. Our choice of occupation does not reflect our personalities and it shouldn’t restrict what we can do.
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| I think one gets stupid when one starts working. At least I feel stupid. I no longer spend time reflecting or expanding my knowledge base. Or should I say I simply have no time. Weird as it sounds, I miss my 1 and ½ hr train or bus rides home from NUS. I miss stoning time. I miss wasting time. I think I am becoming sulky again. I think I am changing. I used to like going home and not going out. But now, I don’t even feel like going home. I feel like just sitting at a coffeeshop by myself and sipping hot coffee or tea. I feel like visiting some museums. I feel like booking an air ticket and flying to some place to holiday.
Then again, I don’t like what I am feeling. It seems like I am running away from something. Crap. I need cleansing.
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| I like flowers.
I hate kids. | | |
| Tiredness is overcoming me. Not because I have lots to do. More of I am at work everyday.
Yesterday was a Sunday I was at work.
My boss decided to give me a role à to be a wheelchair model so as to showcase the effectiveness of the stair crawl (This cool equipment lifts the wheelchair up the stairs with the touch of the button.) I was on the wheelchair all the time cos’ he refused to let me get off. (I have this feeling that he felt it was funny. Uncle Ah Wee said he was probably making fun of me. But well… Anyway I got stared at by a lot of ppl. Because with the stair crawl attached to the wheelchair, I am sitting in a position that is reclined at 45 degrees. Don’t I look funny? It took me a while to realize that a lot of people really thought that I was disabled. That’s why they stared at me, with those sympathetic and sometimes weird looking eyes. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess that’s how it feels to be looked at through “tinted” lens.
One girl came up to me innocently and asked, “Why are you sitting here?”
I said, “I am the “model” for the wheelchair.”
She laughed and said, “I thought you were disabled.”
Another auntie whom I was promoting our transport services to, said something along the lines of, “I have been through 3 operations but I don’t need the wheelchair. Unlike you.”
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I have to admit that I felt really embarrassed sitting there and was trying to explain to pple at every opportunities that I am not disabled. In retrospect, I realize I actually had the opportunity to experience what it must have felt to be disabled. The number of stares…insensitive remarks… I experienced it for perhaps 2 hrs. They have to face it for a lifetime.
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